Oktoberfest 2013

This is the story of three Oktoberfests. Hang tight and watch the German unfold.

Part I: September, Pretoria.

Sarah, the girls and I all rolled up to Pretoria to the German school because a school is the most appropriate place to hold a beer festival, right? But like any good Oktoberfest, it wasn’t all about the beer. They had face painting, paintball, carnival rides, and snacks. The girls got nice face painting and hopped on some ponies. They found a girl dressed up in German flare and mistook her for Dorthy from the Wizard of Oz, demanding a photo. Soon we migrated to the large tent where music and food were plentiful. While the beer was just local microbrews, the food packed all the punch of a good festival. We ate and sampled the beer, finishing the evening with Taelyn conquering the mechanical bull.

Part II: September, Munich, Germany.

Sarah and I have longed to attend the true festival in Bavaria for years. Every year there has been an excuse not to go, but this year we pulled out all the stops and made it happen. Catching a red-eye to Paris, we hopped over to Munich from South Africa on a Friday night. Arriving at our hotel around 10:30 in the morning left us time to work our way to the Therenweisen, the large park that hosts Oktoberfest every year. But before I tell what we did, I will give you the guidebook overview of how it works, so that when I talk about our trip, I can segue seamlessly from event to event without having to provide the background context.

The Tents:

To say that the festival is a series of tents would be misleading. The 14 BIG tents and many more smaller tents are actually buildings. They are supported by large beams of wood and iron, and even walled in many places. With elaborate decorations both inside and out, these do not resemble anything you would camp in nor do they look like the circus big top. In fact, the structure actually comes closer to being a wonderfully decorated warehouse, holding between 6,000-10,000 people. Every table is essentially a picnic table with benches on either side – some long, some short. They are heavily packed together on the main floor of widely spaced in the boxes and balconies that exist in the large tents.

Built on permanent pavement foundations, these tents start going up about 3 months before the festival are in full swing for the 16 day event, and take about 1 more month to deconstruct. Huge amounts of space are required to store the materials for the tents the remainder of the year. It is estimated that a tent costs about 2 million Euros to operate while the net profits end up being about 2 million. Seats are mostly reserved on the balconies and boxes, meaning that someone must specifically write (and sometimes actually write a letter, not an internet submission) to the operators of the tents and “reserve” a seat. Tables are booked in two periods – from about 11-4 and from 5-close. During this time, you must commit to 10 chicken dishes and 20 liters of beer (paid in advance). That works out to about 2L and 1 chicken per person for a group of 10, though many tables are booked for less and the patrons gladly consume the excess. Sometime people book the same table every year. Other times people book a table for both sessions, staying all day with various friends joining and leaving throughout the time. However, reserved or unreserved, you must have a seat (even if you are standing on it) to be allowed to order a beer. So while many people walk into a tent to search for a seat or experience the atmosphere, none will be served unless they have a spot on a bench. Outside the tents are beer gardens. These are a continuation of the inside tables, though often without cover, no live music, and a much more touristy crowd.

The Drink:

Each tent serves only one kind of beer (ex., Paulaner, Augustiener, Hofbrau, Spaten, etc.) and that beer is a specially brewed Oktoberfest which is similar to a Helles (a light, drinkable brew) but runs at about 6% ABV. They say that the beer does not give hangovers though at the rate that some put them back, it would be hard not to think otherwise. About 7 million people visit Oktoberfest over the 16 days and about 7 million liters of beer are consumed on site, averaging out to about 1 per person. However, given that many people are there to enjoy the rides, see the sites, and do no choose to drink (i.e., many children or elderly people), a large compensations happens for those in the tents. Beer is served in thick, 1 liter glass steins (called a “mass”) which are very heavy, even without the liquid. The beer waitresses carry up to 10 of these at a time (the men 12) showing amazing strength. A glass of beer costs an outstanding 9.80 Euros, and with a 1-2 Euro tip for the maid, you best save up for a day of drinking in the tents.

In some tents, you will only find the beer as an option. In others, non-alcoholic versions are served, and some aficionados go one-for-one (one alcohol followed by one non-alcoholic) in order to pace themselves through the whole day and night. Since it is said you are not to ever drink alone, you are repeatedly hoisting your glass to respond to the ever present toast of “Prost!” while the band will play “Ein Prosit” about once every 10 min as well, keeping the beer going down at a steady rate. Those feeling a bit frisky will try the Raddler, a mix of beer and lemonade offered in some tents. Soda and water is also available for those not drinking or needing a break.

The Food:

When you spend all day in a tent, you eat, or you perish. While sausage is most associated with Oktoberfest, there are actually very few floating around. The sausage of choice is a nice, white, boiled link served in a beer stein of hot water. But far and away the hit of the show is the Hendle, the Bavarian roasted chicken. Served as half a chicken coated in butter and spices, this rotisserie delight is the talk of the tents. Melting in your mouth, it does not disappoint and when eaten, the rest of the table stares on while the lucky consumer devours it before their eyes. Many more are ordered after watching this spectacle. It is said that about 500,000 chickens are served up during Oktoberfest.

Tents are famous for their food as well as beer. Some offer fish on a stick, duck, and in one case, a fully roasted pig. Other food can also be found if you are lucky enough to score an English menu. This food can be found inside tents and out, in addition to fries, hamburgers, and other snacks at many of the stalls along the road. But in the tents, one should also not miss the large pretzels, or Brezel. The size of and NFL lineman’s head, this soft bread is excellent for soaking up the liquids consumed in abundance.

How it all went down:

Sarah and I took a train from our hotel to the festival. With each stop, more and more people got on the train wearing the traditional lederhosen and drindle costumes, until they were stuffing on the subway by the hundreds. The five stops before the grounds all had security lining people up and sorting them onto the train – German efficiency at its best. Finally we reached the end and piled out with the masses to the stairs and escalators (all going up) took us by the hundreds up to the surface. Make no mistake, when you stepped off the escalator, you were in Oktoberfest. Literally, the top of the escalator was in the park, and you were surrounded by Bavarian celebration. We worked our way down the crowded streets (yes, this is so big it has streets in a park) to the far end. Most people were eagerly waiting for the parade to come through. Not having a reserved seat, we elected to push to a tent and lock one down before the festivities truly started, about 1.5 hours in the future. Each tent has a big front entrance but most don’t use them, and soon we found the secret side entrance that allows people in.

Immediately we were facing 10,000 people, and every seat was filled. We walked up and down asiles, unsure on how to secure the coveted spot. People had us paranoid saying that we would never get in without a reservation, and if we did, we would have 1 hour lines. Well, Sarah cornered a waitress who took her up into the private boxes. When I tried to follow, security headed me off and it took some convincing charades to persuade them to let me by (no bracelet, no reserved seat). The waitress dropped us off at a table full of locals who had booked two tables for the whole day but weren’t using all the seats until later. So they let us take a spot. It turned out to be the best luck in the world.

Beer is not served until 12:00 noon on the first day once the mayor of Munich (in the next tent over) has tapped the ceremonial keg. So we had an hour to kill eating sausages (no chicken until noon either). A mighty cheer went up as the band entered the tent a paraded around the perimeter for about 15 minutes. They were followed by a procession of important-looking people, including the tent owner who was met with much applause. They carried a large flag and had an entourage of about 100 people. Just before 12, a person welcomed the crowd and started a countdown (in German) as if it was New Year’s Eve. When the clock struck 12, the place went wild and immediately, waitresses were carting handfuls of beer to eager tables. A yelp of anticipation came each time the waitress approached, only to be met with a moan when she stopped at a neighboring table. Around 45 minutes later, Sarah and I finally grasped the handles of our beers and took the first, delicious sips. Prost!

The band kicked up the Ompah music and toasts and good wishes were exchanged periodically. Every so often, a German resident would come sit next to us and chat for a while. They were all extremely nice and did their best to include us, even though we couldn’t understand their exchanges. The two we were closest with, Clause and Hans, gave us much info on the tent, including how they are owned, run, built, and stored. The “owner” of our table had been renting it for 17 years and invited many of the same people back each time. Pretzel would show up and shared as a generous person would buy them for the table. Later, the table owner came back with roses for all of the ladies, including Sarah. It was a great experience sitting with the locals for about 6 hours and learning so much. Overall, the tent was relatively mild for having 10,000 people in it. Songs were sung, and some of the typical bravado was done (I’ll get into that), but in comparison to other tents, it was much more of a local hangout, true to good music and good people.

We said our goodbyes just before 5pm (having been kicked out due to the tables turning over from the afternoon to evening session). So we headed out into the busy streets and ended up just one or two tents over at Spaten. There was a line and we figured we would have to wait. But little by little people were seeping in and within 5 min, Sarah and I were in a beer garden. The hostess showed us to a table of Canadians and Australians and we were welcomed. It soon became painstakingly apparent that we were the oldest ones there. A guy next to us was dubbed “Grandpa” as he was far older than the rest (at the age of 30) and most of them were 20 or 21. Within the hour a few were leaning on our backs, others passed out on the table. One guy was hanging all over a girl and they apparently “married” earlier that day – she was German and 16 – he was Canadian and 21, a lasting relationship no doubt. We called it good after a few hours there and stumbled to the carnival rides, always a great decision after a day of drinking. After spending far too many Euros and wandering around in a lame and pointless amusement house, we emerged, calling it a day.

After a few beers, getting home on the subway was a challenge. Justin opted to be passive and let Sarah guide the way. However, Sarah did not know the correct route so the Walkers bounced up and down the train tracks. It was not Justin’s proudest moment. But they made it home to retire.

The next morning dawned early. A quick breakfast, check-out, and back to the grounds for round 2! While sitting in the metro station not a single other person was there. Do you know how weird it is to be in a subway station alone? It was creepy.

Augustiner was Justin’s favorite beer place the last time we were in Munich so we went to this hall at about 8:30am. No one seemed to be there, which was odd. We met a guy wearing a Michigan sweatshirt (surprise, surprise, he didn’t actually go to Michigan, just like 98% of people who wear that gear) and invited him to join us. Justin wandered around the back of the building and found why we were only standing with a few people in front – hundreds had already joined a line at the side. We waited 10 minutes and burst into the hall just after 9am, grabbing a prime seat next to the beer. The next few hours we talked and listened to house music, munching on pretzels and toasting new comers to the table. Some girls from Brazil sat next to us, and when they left, a group of crazy men from Italy scooted in. While we couldn’t understand much, we gathered that they were friends and one of them played professional soccer in Italy. Chicken for lunch and around 2pm we said our goodbyes, eager to see the rest of the fair before leaving for the airport.

We walked the midway, buying cookies for the girls, and went down to the Hippodrom, the hopping party tent at the end of the strip. It was a packed, wild, madhouse. This is where later that week Usain Bolt and Samuel L. Jackson were spotted, as are most celebrities that frequent the fair. Overwhelmed by the intensity, we rolled on to Hofbrauhouse, one of the biggest and most touristy. We were not disappointed. In stark contrast to the tranquil environment of the tents filled by locals, this one had most people standing on the tables, beer flying through the air, glasses smashing onto the floor (and each other) and people getting tossed out). I think the only German’s in there were the ones serving beer. We asked if we could slide in with some Australians and ended up standing with them (as the benches and tables were covered in beer). Sarah was a bit over the all-day drinking and soon we called it a day, needing to make our way to the airport for our return flight. It is a miracle we made it, and after alternating naps in the airport, boarded our plane back to Johannesburg, rounding out the 20 hour plane trip for the 36 hours of all-out Oktoberfest fun. And in truth, I wouldn’t have done it any other way!

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Part III: October, Johannesburg, South Africa

In an anticlimactic event, we rolled into the annual Bierfest at Montecasino. Give other competing events, we went on a Sunday afternoon. The beer, though brewed in a German style, is actually South African, and the food is terrible, unless you like polony, stale pretzels, and hardened cheese. The music alternates between traditional music and modern covers, but the toast is said no less than 500 times. While we have had some fun there in the past, I realize as I write this up that it in no way deserves the space of the true Oktoberfest. I am always on the lookout for fun events like this, but I don’t recommend going if you have managed to hit up Munich in September the same year.

Italy

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When in Rome…be ready to walk, stand in lines, and eat.

After being gone all weekend at the Comrades Marathon, Justin and Sarah flew in early Monday morning to Joburg to finish packing and winterizing the house before heading out in the afternoon to the airport. We flew 11 hours to Zurich with a quick layover (and $5 bottles of water!) before hoping a quick flight to Rome. Interestingly, we have a stamp for Zurich, which we never visited, but not one for Italy, which we did, as you get a visa for your first point in the EU and no others. From Rome it was a bus to Rome Termini and a train to our stop, slugging two kids and luggage the whole way.

Our 1st apartment was a solid find just 1 block from the Colosseum and Forum. From here we easily caught the metro or buses to all sites. A quaint place in a cute neighborhood, it had a dishwasher, washing machine, wifi, and all the space we needed. They even left us wine, bread, cookies, and other food! We immediately set out to Open Baldini, a burger joint with over 40 beers on tap. While the Belgian brews were delicious and the food tasty, the service was poor. When we got the bill we decided that sit-down meals might not be a daily occurrence when in Rome. On to the Pantheon and a free trip around the huge interior dome which includes the Tomb of Raphael. We then pushed on to Piazza Novona where three amazing fountains were seen. But not to be missed was the gigantic Trevi Fountain, which it is said it you throw a coin into you are certain to return. The girls enjoyed their first gelato while Justin battled with food poisoning and spent most of the night refunding lunch.

Day two required a trip to Vatican City. After a botched attempt to use the buses and trains, a pricey cab ride got us to St. Peter’s Square in time to see the Pope. He makes an appearance every Wednesday when he is in Rome for an address in the square. We stood with thousands as his motorcade paraded the area, then we headed in by guided tour to the Vatican Museums. This is Rome’s most popular attraction that sees nearly 20,000 visitors per day. Filled with more art than you could imagine owned by such a small city-state, they say if you spent 20 seconds looking at each item it would take you 5 years. Luckily, we were most interested in the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. No pictures are allowed but it is a spectacular site. Luckily we had a guide who explained a lot about it first so we knew what to look at because it is dark, hard to see, and extremely crowded. You cannot talk. After exiting the chapel, we hooked in to St. Peter’s Basilica. The sheer size of this building was enough to humble Christian and non alike.

Not to abuse the location of our lodging, we started day 3 at the Colosseum. While much destroyed and rebuilt over time, it is still quite a sight to behold, and all the better when you arrive early in the morning and not only beat the crowds, but don’t have flocks of tourists in your pictures. The girls were fascinated by the fact that animals used to be housed there and haunted that they were forced to fight. We meandered across the street into the grounds of the Roman Forum (a ticket into one gets you entrance into the other). From here we saw many remains of the ancient seat of government, including the treasury, the steps where orators would preach, and the senate steps. Most notably, the temple dedicated to Julius Caesar on the site he was cremated.

After a rest, a quick train ride took us to the very busy Spanish Steps. While nice to look at, be prepared to be in the mix with a couple thousand of your not-so-closest friends, Italians and Roman’s alike. Keats is said to have died in his apartment overlooking the plaza. We decided a nice way to cap off the Spanish Steps in the upscale shopping district with a horse drawn carriage ride. After inquiring, we laughed and walked (€150 = $200 for only a trip to city center, who does this???). Ultimately we walked all the way back to the apartment, using gelato (and the Irish pub) as a motivation to make it. The girls are troopers.

Day 4 and a side trip. All girls and luggage hauled to Rome termini and the mess of trying to figure out how to find trains that don’t have platforms or the correct city on them (note: this was our train, not all trains!). We made it and took the short, beautiful ride to Tuscany and the city of Florence. Narrow, twisting, one-way cobblestone streets made for a pricey and difficult cab ride, compounded by the hordes of tourists. It was like these were walking malls/streets, yet a car would still come down them. We soon learned the lay of the land and ventured past the Duomo, an immaculate church spanning many city blocks, and on to the Accademia Gallery, the home of the great David statute. A hefty entrance fee and hour’s wait later, we stood at the base of the enormous carving, awed by its size (no pun intended). Everything else in the museum just wasn’t as cool. More gelato and a rest took us to a rainy afternoon and a walk past the Uffizi Galary and onto the medieval Ponte Vecchio bridge.

All was not perfect. Expect a cover charge here (we paid €2 per person) and service was not included in some places. It significantly upped the meal price. And while our hotel was solid and in a good location, mosquitoes kept any sleep from happening. We were up early and heading for the train station, this time on the walk. The train to Pisa was only 1 hour and we arrived, hopped the bus, and arrived at the leaning tower. The tower was pretty cool to see, listing as it does to the side. However, the tourist trap that it is was a turn off as more people were selling stupid shirts, crap items, and peddling watches and sunglasses here than in all of Rome together. We took the obligatory pictures and headed for lunch.

The return trip was hectic starting with a 2K walk back to the train station. It had started to get hot and the kids tired, and we took longer than needed to make it. A 1 hour train and a near miss of our connection in Florence as Justin had to grab the left luggage and Sarah took the girls to McDonalds for the bathroom. Another 1:30 train ride and back to Rome and a 10 min walk to the apartment. However, when we arrived at the address, nothing had the name of the confirmation on it. We waited, asked for help, and even talked to people coming out of the building – no one had heard of the name. Finally a woman we asked earlier came back and said, “That’s my apartment.” Oh. Ok. So in we went. Smaller and with none of the amenities of the last place, it was a bit of a letdown for a more expensive place, but close to Termini so transport wasn’t an issue.

Pasta and Pizza’ed out, we made our own dinner to cap day 5. Day 6 dawned with an early run in Villa Borghese park. Lined with many sculpture gardens, the girls enjoyed a playground and a turtle and duck-filled lake while the adults ran. Then it was off for an afternoon of travel. When you have had your fill of pasta in Italy, where is the best place for meatballs in Rome? Ikea. We followed this with German brews and pretzels at a Bavarian place before heading to the trendy neighborhood of Trastavere. After several hours of failure in getting there, we stumbled in destroyed from the walking. Yet we were met with a great beer join in Ma Che Siete Venuti a Fa where world yummy beers are poured. After some street shopping in the maze of markets and avenues, we sat for organic pizza and Italian craftbrews at the Bir and Fud.

Day 7 was no shorter. Again a run, then off. We failed in our destination (a metro then train ride out to a town, long walk only to fine the site closed on Mondays). So we hustled back and made our way 30K out of Rome to Frascati. This cobblestone -filled town is famous for its fresh white wine so we enjoyed a carafe of it on the piazza with some antipasti and some Belgian beers. Done spending money and eating the same dishes, we hit the store to make dinner again. The last day we spend returning to Ostia Antiqua, a 4th century BC Roman city. The ruins were extravagant and vast. We ended with an Irish pub, pizzas on the street, and of course, gelato which we had at the oldest, largest, and cheapest (and best) parlor in the city at Giovanni Fassi just around the corner from our place.

Final impressions – Rome has much to offer and isn’t entirely difficult to get around to the major sites. Beware shortcuts and off the beaten path as roads twist and turn and are unmarked. The size of many of the buildings – especially when taking into account when they were built – make for some great sights, not to mention the history. The roads are a cobblestone mess, an artisan driveway that needed to be redone long ago. Its streets like ashtrays, full of butts and stinking of smoke from the every Roman citizen puffing away at all moments of the day. It is a dichotomy of old and new, 2000 year old views by horse-drawn carriages yet the drivers are on cell phones and charge $200. Florence is very small in comparison and a nice getaway, but lacks the grandiose appeal of Rome. Pisa is a must for the iconic tower but is otherwise forgettable and out of the way.

Egypt

Click on the links for more info on the sites and the hotel names for pics of the hotels we stayed in.

Of course they changed our flight from 2pm to 10pm. Of course they never told us. Of course the flight was late. But when we finally arrived in Cairo at 7am and made our way to the hotel (Movenpick Pyramids), it was worth it. Our lodging was near the base of them making for a great launching to a long day of traveling. But after breakfast and a nap, we hit the Egyptian Museum of Antiquities which houses some of the most significant artifacts in history. Nestled next to the government building burned in the revolution, 7 items are still missing from the looting that day. But what remains are 185,000 items that date back almost 5,000 years. We saw the famous pharaoh statutes and all of the King Tut masks and burial items. Despite being an insignificant leader in the history of Egypt, King Tut is perhaps best known since his tomb was the only one to ever be discovered in tacked. His wealth took up an entire floor of the museum so one can only extrapolate the treasures that once accompanied the great kings of Egypt. We paid a bit extra to go into the mummy exhibit and saw numerous corpses preserved with teeth, skin, and hair from thousands of years ago. It was a haunting and sobering experience.

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Is there anything more iconic at Egypt than the Pyramids of Giza? Towering into the sky, these crumbling relics mark one of the Wonders of the Ancient World (the Great Pyramid is the only surviving item of the original seven) and are every bit as exciting in person when seen. Millions of blocks cut in exact measurements, weighing between 3 and 12 tons each, all carted from 1,000km away, and done 4,000 years ago – amazing. The Great Pyramid is taller (though it sits lower) than the rest, and its corners are at near exact measurements to the 4 directions of the compass. It took 20 years to make all to bury one man. As we bounced around the pyramids and the Sphinx on the backs of camels it was hard not to imagine the absolute impressiveness of these sites.

Later that day we went to Dahsur to see more pyramids, this time into the bowls of one which is entered by traveling down a long, steep, passage to the bottom of the structure. The distance to the tomb put into perspective the sheer mass of the object built for just one little room.  Near it was the bent pyramid, one that they built incorrectly and adjusted halfway up.  We also saw the oldest pyramid in existence and the detailed hieroglyphics of a time when only a handful of civilizations existed on earth.

There are three big tourist items here: carpets, perfumes, and papyrus. We had a chance to visit all today in one of those stop and learn sessions where they really just want you to buy something afterward. But it was a really cool experience. The perfumes were nice, but the papyrus making was cool. Any paper that has been around for thousands of years sparks an interest, so we bought a nice painting of the pyramids and then an Egyptian calendar with the girl’s names written in hieroglyphics along the sides with their birthdays in Arabic underneath. The winner of coolest art goes to the carpet making people, though. Hand-woven intricate designs can take up to two months per meter, and some of the rugs take years to make! Three hundred knots per inch…it was fascinating. However, at about $500-20,000 US a rug, we took a pass!

With a few hours to kill before taking the overnight train to Aswan, we went to our guide’s home. He introduced us to his daughter and we joined him for dinner. It was a great fare of breads, veggies, tuna, meat, and cheese – all laid out on the floor. It was really a cool experience and great conversation about education, politics, and travel. Sleeping on a train sounds really cool – it isn’t. This thing rocked and rattled all night long while the overpowering smell of cigarette smoke drifted in constantly. Everyone in Egypt smokes, which makes for rough train rides and other encounters where there is no escape. The toilet floor is lined with piss and the waste just flows out a tube onto the tracks below. Dinner and breakfast never came, but we arrived in Aswan which was the primary concern albeit two hours late.

Our first day in Aswan was awesome! We boarded a small boat past the great sand cliffs housing ancient tombs and modern religious buildings. Far upstream was the Nubian village. We disembarked to the home of a Nubian couple who treated us to a meal on their sand floor. We also got to hold a crocodile – apparently there is one in most homes in the village. We moved to the Nubian school where we sat for a lesson on Arabic and Nubian language, wrote our names, and learned phrases. After returning to the hotel (Movenpick Aswan) we hit the pool and had room service in our 5-star accommodations. All-in-all not a bad day to say the least.

The rest of our time in Aswan was a visit to the High Dam and the Unfinished Obelisk. The sheer size of these structures was again impressive. We took a boat ride out to the Greek-Roman Philae Temples (285 B.C.) where more recently piece by piece they were moved from another island when the dam caused most structures to go underwater. Then we ended up with a 5-course lunch on the boat (M/S Amarco I). This is a nice cruise ship with luxurious rooms, several bars, and a pool.

An early morning departure sailed us a few hours to Kom Ombo. This temple was spectacular. The construction was such that the length of the temple was built like a megaphone so that when the people were outside and the high priest was inside, his voice amplified out. Since they could not see him and could only see the statue of the God, they thought it was the God speaking. We got back on board and sailed a bit longer to Edfu where we disembarked to horse drawn carriages. The temple at Edfu was equally spectacular, though the experienced was soured by overly aggressive people trying to touch the kids or sell things. This was the only instance so far on the trip where we have felt hassled. After hearing how bad it could be here, we have been impressed with the lack of aggression (save Edfu).

The boat landed late at night in Luxor, though we would still stay on the boat one more day. We headed to the West Bank of the Nile to The Valley of the Kings. This is where many of the great kings of Egypt were interred. We visited 3 of the 62 known tombs, Ramses III, IV, and XI. All had amazing color and detail on the walls. Our next stop was the temple of Queen Hatshepsut at Al-Deir Al-Bahari. Massive in size, much of it was destroyed or defaced, leaving a slightly sour taste to what otherwise could have been a great site. Our last stop was the Colossi of Memnon, two great statues just lining the road that until six years ago, had unknown meaning, until a temple was unearthed nearby. Amazing that temples from 2,000 years ago are still being discovered in these busy cities.

Our last day in Luxor was spent visiting the Karnak and Luxor Temples where priests used to ferry offerings to the gods between the two. Once again, Karnak proved to be an impressive colossus of a site. Much of it was destroyed and it still spanned many blocks. This used to be the capital of Thebes and its more than 100 pillars and two tall, complete obelisks were the best sites so far. We headed back to Luxor on the Nile and found it not nearly as impressive. By the way, it looks nothing like the Luxor in Las Vegas – why they chose that name for the casino I have no idea. We passed Christmas Eve in the hotel  (Sonesta St. George) after a bad lunch that left me with cramps.

Our Christmas Day started with loud Mosque praying on a loudspeaker at 5:00am. We stumbled to a wonderful breakfast in our hotel and then boarded our van to the sprawling, unfinished Red Sea side city of Hurghada. Again we stayed in the Movenpick and again we were pleased. The pool was large and the beach was wide with turquoise waters all around. Sarah took in a massage.

Our final full day was a return flight to Cairo and then a visit to some other sites. We visited the Citadel of Saladin and the Alabaster mosque, the former from medieval times and the latter from the 1800s though it was very large and we learned a little about Islam. Then we went to Coptic Cairo and visited the Church of Abu Serga where the Holy Family is believed to have rested during their travels in Egypt. Nothing but a single pillar remains from the original church but we did glimpse the resurrected crypt below the church where the family rested. Just outside the church we stopped in the home of the mother of our guide’s friends and she fed us bread and tea and gave the girls’ necklaces. Perhaps most like home was the City of the Dead, a sprawling village of 200,000 people who have built homes on top of the tombs of people. The government has tried to relocate them but they continue to exist there due to the proximity to downtown. We finished with a walk through the Khan El Khalili Market, one of the biggest and most amazing markets I have seen. Though I didn’t care to buy anything, the large number of vendors and items down every street was a site to behold.

Put up in the Le Passage hotel by the airport for dinner and a rest before the 2:30am departure. In sum, I have to say we were quite pleased with Cairo, found it relatively safe, and the people no pushier than anywhere else in Africa. It is a highly recommended trip.

Now that is a lot of sites

Extreme Africa - Vic Falls (Zambia, Zimbabwe, and Botswana)

Master Card is heavily preferred in the Vic Falls region. In honor of this tragedy (since I use Visa), I am going to pay homage to them with a commercial.

Flights - $1100
Lodging - $500
Visas - $370
Activities/Food/Transfers - $1200
Extreme Africa – Priceless

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In the first 30 hours of our trip, we entered and exited a country 9 times. In the EU, not such a big deal; in Southern Africa, hectic. First off, the boarders are not next to each other. When you exit one country, there is the obligatory paperwork and stamping of visas, and then you walk out. But the driver that got you there can go no further, so you have to hitch a ride a mile or more through “No man’s land” to the next boarder, go through the visa and paperwork dance all over again, and catch yet another ride onward. Not to mention the fact that no one actually checks your documents so if you just stayed in a car or walked around the counter, no one would be the wiser of your illegitimate entry (or you just pop through the fence, to which there are many holes).

God forbid you talk to these guys. When told I would have to pay $45 for each of the kids to enter Zimbabwe (not needed in Zambia 10 min earlier), I said, “You guys aren’t messing around.” The immigration officers were stern, and one asked me to explain. I said that meant it was serious and he said, “Don’t make fun of us.” I told him I wasn’t and continued with the paperwork. Then the driver came in and I told him that children did in fact need visas, something he said was not need in the car. The officer pounded on the window and yelled “Do you want to come in?” When I said yes, he told me to fill out the paper work. I scoffed back saying that I would have had the paperwork filled out already but this guy lead me wrong. He responded by saying that he worked for immigration, not that guy. After getting threatened a few more times, I said screw it, and I would just spend my money in Zambia. The drivers tried to intervene but this guy had a stick up his ass. I told him I never meant to offend him but he didn’t relent. But the paperwork was ultimately stamped and we moved on. Luckily, we found every other person in Zim to be pleasant and cooperative.

All except for the people selling stuff on the street, that is. Their favorite thing to sell, besides the typical African woodwork, is fake money. Some idiot foreigner long ago got overly excited at the high denominations of their money, and they saw a fish right away. Now you can’t walk 100m without someone coming up to you trying to see you these bank notes saying “1 billion dollars” and other various amounts. They want $10 for the set of them. And what is most frustrating is that they don’t change their pitch. They just keep telling you the price over and over. One time I was on the train and this guy wanted to sell me hippo statutes. After repeatedly saying No, and that I lived in SA and had stuff like that already, he went from $10 for the pair to $8. I still told him I didn’t need it. He waited me out 5 min. and then said, “$10.” Laughing that my deal had expired, the train pulled away, but not before another tourist yelled at a man who tried to use the “you are rich, I am hungry” pitch. She lit into him big time. Not a selling point.

Chobe Park in Botswana proved to be a valuable addition. We had to pony up $175 for each adult (and although they said 50% for Taelyn, they also told us to tell everyone she was 2 years old so she didn’t have to pay. We were asked lots but stuck to it, not loving the deception but now on the hook by the booking people who only charged us $350). After a lengthy drive to the boarder (1 hour), picking up people, and getting to the lodge, we finally departed on the boat on the Chobe River. This pontoon had drinks and snacks and we drifted for 3 hours looking at buffalo, crocs, and lots of birds, hippo, and elephant. By noon the heat of the day brought the elephants to the water and hundreds of them splashed in the tide. We docked for lunch and headed out on a drive for the afternoon. The heat was stifling and we saw much of the same as the morning, but from a different viewpoint. The dichotomy was interesting and the wildlife diverse, much like Tanzania when we could see so much from one spot. Word of a kudu kill came over the radio and we raced to it, but the lions were not guarding it. But a great game experience none the less.

Our home base for the week was Vic Falls Rest Camp in the town of Vic Falls. A combination of chalets and tents, it had a good restaurant and pool. We had two bedrooms and fans, plus a kitchen, but the place was quaint and all concrete, suggesting we should have paid about half of what we did. Within a short walk were all of the restaurants and attractions of town, and we ate twice at the lovely Victoria Falls Hotel overlooking the river. It was a scene straight out of early 20th century Africa, with the large white buildings and the British on safari. Speaking of, why do people continue to come to Africa dressed like they are going to actually hunt in the bush? They buy these expensive khaki shirts, pants, and ridiculous hats, probably thinking they blend in. I can’t help but wonder if the local Africans just see them sticking out more…after all, it isn’t the animals you are fooling. The large diesel Land Rover with raised seats rumbles up next to the elephant and the guide starts talking…it isn’t like you are hidden in your fancy “safari” uniform. They can still see you, and you will never wear these expensive clothes again.

The highlight of any adventurer has to be the Zambezi River. With its bungee jump, Fox Swing, and rafting, you can get your thrills all right here. We opted for rafting (leaving the kids in the care of a housekeeper at the lodge). The typical briefing and ride to the river left us very unsure of what we were getting into. It ran $130 per person (with $10 pp park fees on top of that) and you are subjected to a terrifying descent into the gorge on foot over busted ladders, near vertical stairs missing handrails, and across large rocks for hundreds of meters. Most had never gone rafting before, and many fell for the “that is a left-handed paddle; you need a right handed one.” We thought we got the better of the boats, but soon we realized we were wrong, and we paid the price.

Rafting works best when you have a good team. People paddling in time help you hit the right lines and avoid getting tossed in the water. Of the 8 guests in our boat, 4 didn’t do anything. We had a Russian guy who wanted to sit up front, but he paddled fast (taking no water) and I couldn’t keep with him. Plus, he would not listen to the guide’s call to start paddling and he often stopped with no order. His wife was worthless, and there was a girl in the back who was weak. But let’s not forget about our Belgian friend in the back who was so scared she just spent the whole time crying. Into Rapid #4 (our first class 5), we hit the wrong line and over we went. It was a long rapid and Sarah and I were underwater for 10 seconds or more, experiencing what it feels like to be a pair of jeans in a washing machine, coming up into waves and going under again. Hands down, the scariest time in our lives. Moments later, we hit another rapid and flipped again. This time, my Russian counterpart was paddling backwards into the rapid! I ended up 500m downstream in a boat with other people. Sarah and our new Canadian friend, Mark, spoke to the guide and said, something needed to change. When I reboarded the boat, the guide walked to the front and said, “Don’t take it personally, but you need to sit here,” and delegated our lazy friend to the 3rd seat. They told me to move to the front and when I looked around, people told me it wasn’t a request but an order. Back to the front I went. We managed to keep the boat upright for a while. Just before the most gnarly part of the river, we hit another rapid. Our guide offered a choice: go left and we were to flip certainly; go right and we could expect a decent ride. Mark and I yelled Left, but most people were content to stay in the boat. But as we neared the rapid, we ended up far left, and into the drink we went again. When I mentioned that was not right, the guide said shh, it is a $#%^ing secret. Some of us were laughing more than others.

All was good for the next few hours, thought we paddled a ton on this trip and were very sore and tired from all the work. The last significant rapid, 18 of 19, was another class 5. Not only did we miss this one, but we flipped straight up and over. Being in front, I had the biggest fall from the top, and because of the power of the rapid, was slammed into something – a rock, the boat, Mark – but things went black, there was a rush of pain, and I surfaced 50m downstream with my knee on fire. It took another 2 minutes of floating before I could move, and then struggled to the boat. Mark climbed back on with a large abrasion on his face. Everyone was sore, and soon we were paddling again to get to the end. After exiting the boat, we had a 20 minute walk up the side of the mountain (it took others twice as long). Remember, we paid for this.

With a day left to kill, we booked a train ride out to the bridge. It was $40 a person, but the kids were free. A small, 1-car tram took about 7 of us through the brush where animals roamed and out to the bridge that spans the river between Zambia and Zimbabwe. We had cocktails and chatted with other passengers. Once at the bridge, we dodged people hawking crap and were poured garbage champagne while taking pictures of the river and setting sun. More cocktails, some tapas, and a ride back capped off a nice evening.


The next morning we booked it out of town. Having hired a private driver, we were able to go to the boarder and have a local take our passports and jump the long queue for stamps. We arrived at the Royal Livingston Hotel in Zambia. It was here we would embark by boat out to Livingstone Island, the place where David Livingstone was first taken to view the falls over 150 years ago. The purpose of this excursion was to jump in the notorious Devil’s Pool – a pocket of water at the edge of the falls. At the lowest water levels, one can jump into the river and not be swept over the falls. The most exciting part was lying on the rock ledge and looking straight down 100m to the floor of the valley. Follow up this exhilarating adventure was a luxury breakfast in the bush.

Taking the plunge into Devil's Pool

Note to travelers: Do NOT forget your Yellow Fever vaccination cards when traveling in Southern Africa.

Germany

Is there any place in the world more desirable to visit?  Sure, people talk about white sand beaches and bustling cites, but they haven't been to Bavaria!  We caught a direct flight overnight from Johannesburg to Munich.  Upon arrival, we had one primary objective - Beer Hall.

Our first stop, however, was the Dachau Memorial.  The exact opposite of a rancorous beer hall, this is the site of Nazi Germany's first concentration camp.  Some horrific deeds were completed here, and 32,000 souls lost their lives on these grounds.  Room after room of black and white pictures depict the evils of man in its darkest hours.  A large sign reads in multiple languages "Never Again," a hope we all share.

Accomplishing our primary objective, we sidled up to Paulaner Brewery, our favorite international brewery.  Tasting your favorite beer out of its homegrown tap is second to none.  By the end of our first day, we had seen the worst and the best Germany has to offer.  Our stop was The Meininger Hotel, a good deal for a quad room at about 56 Euros/night.

We rose the next morning to visit the 1972 Olympic Stadium.  Being huge fans of Steve Prefontaine, it was significantly important for us to see where he ran as well as the site of the horrific terrorists attacks of Black September.  The track was being redone so we were unable to walk on the track but we sat in the stands while the children ran.  Also on the tour was the pool where Mark Spitz set his records.  Unfortunately, there was very little on the information side.  We left disappointed not seeing more historical items.

With the big cultural sites out of the way, we hit the largest beer hall in Munich, Hofbrauhaus.  With four levels, this beer hall rocks any night of the week.  We feasted on sausages and guzzled dark beer while a band played traditional music.  Our girls danced in the aisles.  Later that evening Kaelia was riled up from lack of sleep, climbed half way up a bunk bed ladder, and launched herself off. We spent the night in the emergency room and returned the next morning because Kaelia refused to walk and screamed bloody murder at being set down.  We carried her for the rest of the trip.

On the way out of town we rolled past the Theresienwiese, site of Oktoberfest. While nothing was going on, we vowed to return when there was.  It was a few hour drive down to our next stop, Garmisch, in the mountains on the boarder or Austria. It was our first experience on the autobahn, and we fared well.  The road had high speed limits and when "off" cars rolled along quickly.  But it never felt too fast and we were impressed by the order on the road. When we arrived, we rolled up the hill to the base of the Zugspitze, the highest peak in Germany.  We went up the cable car at the extravagant price of 50 Euros a person to the top.  From the 3000m summit we could see into four different countries.  The girls loved playing in the snow at the top because it was the first snow Kaelia could see (Taelyn wouldn't remember her snow encounters).  On the way down, we ended up in a beer house where every one of the 30 patrons was dressed in traditional Bavarian garb.

For the next few nights we crashed in Füssen, also in the southern part of the country.  In an effort to realize a romantic dream, we stayed in the most castle-looking place we could, Hotel Fantasia.The rooms were very nice, in the center of town, and looked up to a castle.  The girls loved the trampoline, Sarah the towers and archways, and Justin the large breakfasts.  From here we enjoyed several great runs along parks and rivers and into mountain lakes.  But the main purpose of visiting is to see the famous castles of Neuschwanstein and Hohenschwangau.  FYI - this was every bit as exciting there as anticipated.  Sometimes when you see so many postcards and pictures of something, it isn't as good in person, but this was. We loved hiking up the hills to the gorgeous castles and hearing all about this history.  We took a horse-drawn carriage down from one of them.  The girls ran up and down the stairs pretending they were in Cinderella.  After all, Neuschwanstein is the castle they modeled Cinderella's castle off at Disney World.  Justin and Taelyn danced in the ballroom.

Our next stop was Rothenburg ob der Tauber.  This medieval city has been around since before 1000 and some of it has original structures.  We visited the Medieval Crime and Torture Museum and saw many artifacts.  Our favorite was the barrel the drunks had to wear or perhaps the masks for women that were gossips. There were executioner swords, axes, thumb screws, an iron maiden, and much more.  Sarah and Justin went for runs around the walled city and save seeing some medal or the rare car, it felt as if it were in the 1500's. We ate Schneebälle (snowballs) of dough, sugar and chocolate, famous for the area. Sarah went on a night tour of the city led by a night watchman dressed in traditional garb.  We also visited the Christmas factory which had 4 levels of crazy holiday cheer. It was a bit overwhelming.

Barrel worn as punishment for public drunkenness

Our last stop was the small town of Hirschau where we visited a former UNC athlete. She hosted us in her house and we sampled small-town Germany life.  Overall we found Germany to be very clean, incredibly efficient, and beautiful.  All in all, one of our best trips ever!

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